Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
