That's intense
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
