He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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