Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize