do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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