Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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