Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
