yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
