He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
