I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
