My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
