So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
ttyl tear gas
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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