Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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