She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
