My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
