Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
