If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize