I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
