you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize