I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
