my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
