Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
