Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
