Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
