White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so let's talk penis.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
