Just cropdusted the office
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
