it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
