we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
