check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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