So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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