If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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