Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
