I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize