love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
