thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
