Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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