I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we made out on top of his cat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
