i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
