Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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