its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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