I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
