The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
