I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i out mim tonsoeep
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