period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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