She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I met the friendliest cop last night
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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