So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
