Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Your cock deserves a montage
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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