I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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