Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize