absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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