Soap is not a condiment
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
