Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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