He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
