Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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