I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
