guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
